I skipped work to stalk him.
honey bunches of taint.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
