Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
