we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
