It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
