I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
vagina is talking i cant
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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