I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
