Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
