oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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