thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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