There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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