Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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