New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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