I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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