YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
