Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
