I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
