Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
