does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
