your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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