Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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