that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
