I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
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