I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
