I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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