I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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