yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
