Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
