What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
