mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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