my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
