Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
