he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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