You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
im having a threesome with these popsicles
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
