goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
