I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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