there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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