dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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