We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
