I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
