He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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