your room smells of hookers.
And success
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
