i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
