She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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