I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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