do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
