I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
