You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
