either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
