Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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