Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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